Empty out my brain and let me sleep
I’m having a hard time falling asleep tonight so I decided to make a quick post and hopefully empty out what’s floating around in my brain.
Lately I’ve been looking back into my past and asking myself how I ended up where I am today as well as where I want to be in the future. I definitely did not imagine I would find work at a horse farm, much less any work at all that didn’t last more than 2-3 weeks only. If someone traveled back in time exactly one year ago and told me that in 6 months I would be working at a farm, I probably would have laughed and asked if they were high.
Working on the farm these past 5 months (wow, time flew by quickly) has been both a good and bad thing for me. On one hand, I’m earning money and getting off my lazy ass and doing something productive while giving my neglected muscles the exercise they so badly need ever since my last soccer game in during my senior year in high school. On the other hand, I find that I have very little time for myself and my friends as time goes by, not to mention how physically and mentally exhausted I am after a hard day’s work.
Sometimes I ask myself if all that pain and exhaustion is worth the money I’m being paid but then I take a step back and think about what keeps me coming back to the farm day after day. I’ve come to the conclusion that I enjoy working with animals. Sure there are times when they can be a pain in the ass but maybe it’s because the sensed my crappy mood before I even realize that I’m in a crappy mood. I should try to control my mood better. As much as I want to keep working at the farm for a long as possible, I know that I only have until the middle of August. Hopefully I’ll find a way to extend my contract.
Recently, I thought about spending a year in Texas with my sister and her husband but I am not sure how well that would go with them. They did invite me to go over there but I’m not sure if they’re ready for me to be there for a whole year. And if I do go over there, what will I do with all of my stuff over here? And what about my friends? As far as I know I have not missed a single birthday for RPG since 2005. Maybe I’ll take a Greyhound just for that.
Who knows, it might happen or it might not. Right now it’s just a thought I have floating in my head. I wonder what the future has in store for me.
Categories: Blogging, Emo much?, Life in general